History...
So, remember how about 2 or 3 years ago LNH was in a really bad accident and I posted it to my blog? I do. I also remember that it was due to that posting, that I was contacted by one of his "love interests". And no, it wasn't his girlfriend at the time. It was kind of weird because she claimed to have been given my info by LNH but he gave a different story. Regardless of how she found me, she did. And after a few IM conversations it became very clear that she wasn't a long lost friend trying to find out his medical status. She could have easily contacted his girlfriend for that information instead of using me as a third party. After that ordeal, I thought I had heard the last from her.
Present...
Tuesday morning, I'm lying in bed in between snooze buttons when I get a Yahoo IM from...guess who???? Yes, the mysterious woman... The message read something like "I'm not sure if LNH has informed you but we were united in marriage on Thursday. SO, Happy Holidays from Mr & Mrs. LNH and family". Now, this could have been a harmless message allowing me to celebrate their union, however, when I responded with "congrats and Merry Christmas" I didn't recieve a thank you or anything.
So to ensure that I wasn't crazy (I can over analyze things at times), I asked a couple of other people their thoughts...to make it simple...a few of them wanted her contact info to tell her a thing or two. I found it kind of funny. Why? Well almost a year ago, I told LNH that I didn't think it was good for us to communicate anymore. Since that time, we've shared one or two emails just "checking in". But I'm guessing he didn't bother to tell the wifey that his first love wanted him to settle down, get married, and have some babies (although I don't know if that last part is going to happen).
The funny thing is, last week, I was deleting some archived IMs off my PC and came across her Yahoo handle. I immediately thought to myself, "they should be married by now". Then a few days later she sends me this text like my feelings are supposed to be hurt. I'm so happy I don't know what to do. What is interesting is that he didn't tell me.
Needless to say, I'm happy to have gotten one of the folks on my prayer list married off...only got 6 more to go....and I think I hear wedding bells for JK in the near future...YAYYY!!!!
So congrats to Mr. & Mrs LNH...I pray that you guys have a marriage filled with all the love, joy, and peace that only God can give. God Bless You!!!
The Princess
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
These three words
You know how it is when you think that you're over something because you haven't had to deal with it in a while. Then the first time it comes up, you realize that it's still an issue. I had one of those moment today.
We've been talking for about 3 or 4 months now and I can't say that I have any complaints, except I don't know where he would ultimately like to see things go. Anyway, as we're completing our conversation, he goes "love ya, babe" and I'm sitting there with this blank stare on my face...for a couple of different reasons. One, I question whether we know each other well enough for him to say that and sincerely mean it. Secondly, after LNH, I vowed that next person that got those words out of me would be my husband. (Which reminds me that I need to ask Bishop who gave him the impression that I fall in love easily since I've only really loved 2 men in my 31 years) I digress.
Anyway, when he said it, I felt happy sad and afraid, all at the same time. Happy because I really do care for him. Sad because I know he could mean it in a friendly way, at the most. And afraid because I always end up disappointed by the people who use those words. He explained that he did mean it in a freindly manner but was disappointed that I was someone distraut about him saying it. Rightfully so, he questioned how I allow my past to effect the progression of things between us. Admittedly, I had no valid answer other than that was never my intention.
I'm still not sure if I'm ready to exchange those words only because I hold them in an extremely high regards. I believe that when you say that to someone, you have to be prepared to do all the things that come along with it. I have found that people are quick to tell you that they love you but then when you need them, they can't be found. Or when you do behave or do things the way they want, their love goes out the door. I say, if you love me, let your actions speak much louder than your words. Its the acts of kindess that I display to those that I care about that should "speak" multitudes. Then my words only reinforce what my actions have already shown.
I love you
We've been talking for about 3 or 4 months now and I can't say that I have any complaints, except I don't know where he would ultimately like to see things go. Anyway, as we're completing our conversation, he goes "love ya, babe" and I'm sitting there with this blank stare on my face...for a couple of different reasons. One, I question whether we know each other well enough for him to say that and sincerely mean it. Secondly, after LNH, I vowed that next person that got those words out of me would be my husband. (Which reminds me that I need to ask Bishop who gave him the impression that I fall in love easily since I've only really loved 2 men in my 31 years) I digress.
Anyway, when he said it, I felt happy sad and afraid, all at the same time. Happy because I really do care for him. Sad because I know he could mean it in a friendly way, at the most. And afraid because I always end up disappointed by the people who use those words. He explained that he did mean it in a freindly manner but was disappointed that I was someone distraut about him saying it. Rightfully so, he questioned how I allow my past to effect the progression of things between us. Admittedly, I had no valid answer other than that was never my intention.
I'm still not sure if I'm ready to exchange those words only because I hold them in an extremely high regards. I believe that when you say that to someone, you have to be prepared to do all the things that come along with it. I have found that people are quick to tell you that they love you but then when you need them, they can't be found. Or when you do behave or do things the way they want, their love goes out the door. I say, if you love me, let your actions speak much louder than your words. Its the acts of kindess that I display to those that I care about that should "speak" multitudes. Then my words only reinforce what my actions have already shown.
I love you
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